The Life Changing Effects of Finding Joy in The Moment
A story about meeting Charley at a local language exchange, finding joy in the moment, despite the shitty things in life. And about the integration of Divine Feminine energy.
Back in December, I learned about language exchange meet-ups in my local village, Almuñecar. Visiting a ecological shop, I received a tip about local people from multiple countries coming together multiple times every week. Expats to learn and speak Spanish about their interests, and Spanish people to learn English. The first time I intended to join the group, I was already in the cafe, attending a co-writing session of the writing community that I'm a part of. It was the last session of the year, looking back at 2022 and looking forward to 2023. With so many life changes in 2022, and the presence of alcohol in the cafe (something I've excluded from my life since March 2021, story for another time), I decided it wasn't my vibe to join the meet-up session. Instead, I went back to my apartment, to take a early nights rest.
Fast forward to March 2023, when I'm looking for a place to rent. The lady in the same ecological shop reminds me of the meet-ups again, and to connect with one of the organizing members. My first short introduction at one of these meetings was the next Tuesday morning, at a tropical beach restaurant. After a quick 'Hi!', with the meet-up being at its end already, I walked back with Manual, the man I had contact with via app messaging. A inspiring talk followed about arts, healthy habits, returning to nature, and where to find more of this within the Costa Tropical area in Spain. We split off and I continue my way, enjoying the sunny weather along the beach.
My First Interaction with Charley and His Remarkable Story
The next Saturday, I went to a meet-up that was close by, to exchange experiences in Spanish with people from throughout Europe, that had found their place to live in Almuñecar area. I took place next to a Dutch couple on my left, and Charley on my right. A English man, age 83, who grew up in a small village above Manchester, he told me. Chatting with Charley, in both Spanish and English, together with the Dutch couple, turned out to be one of the most inspiring talks I've yet experienced. He shared about travelling all over the world, and especially Africa, having guns pointed at him regularly and often sleeping in a tent in the wild. About growing up in the United Kingdom. About his neurologist, who has a neurological disorder herself, that left her in a wheelchair, and gave her the inspiration to become a neurologist. And most importantly about Parkinson's disease, that Charley has a mild version of.
During our chat, health topics come to the surface, when I start talking about opening my Health & Wellness Consultancy for the local community. He asks a lot of questions, and gets more and more excited, while the time passes way too quickly. I mention success stories of people recovering from diabetes, auto-immune diseases, cardiovascular disease, digestive issues, and cancer by following HMI protocols and changing their lifestyle with healthy (food) habits. Suddenly Charley asks me "Is it possible to heal from Parkinson's?" A couple of years ago, I would've set that there must be a way, with my deep belief that the body can heal from anything since a young age. With all the wisdom I've gained throughout the years and with my Health & Nutrition study, I'm more confident than ever that this is possible. And with confidence, I said “Yes!” What stood out for me since the first moment, is that Charley is full of life, and especially full of joy. With still the childlike curiosity shining through his eyes.
Charley almost died due to Covid. While his family was ready to say goodbye, he decided it wasn’t his time to go yet. And recovered in no-time, already in his 80’s.
How Charley’s Joy for Life kept Him Alive
In between, he shared about having covid a couple of months earlier, losing 26 kilos in a short time, and his whole family standing around his hospital bed to say goodbye. Charley decided that it wasn't his time to go yet, that life still had to offer him a lot. And he recovered in record time. Every morning he stands up with the goal to walk 10.000 to 12.000 steps a day. He's found a reason to live, and expresses this abundantly with everything he does. His story was the bridge to emotions being stored in the gut (the big brain) and influencing our daily life in our heads (the small brain). Every form of a disease stems from emotions that haven't been processed yet, that includes Parkinson's disease. As an example, I mentioned that hurting your knee at age 5 can bring knee related issues years afterwards. Simply because the small brain has created a 'solution' that the big brain is sending messages about, based on the emotional impact. Shortly after our inspiring chat, Charley left for a party that he was very excited about, to meet again one week later.
Without expectation, I just went a second time the next Saturday. We sat next to each other once again, this time talking about the meaning of life. The conversation we had went very deep, it was so interesting that no one was able to interrupt us for 1,5 hours. The experiences of Viktor Frankl, writer of Man's Search for Meaning, among others, passed the revue. It was fascinating to see the aliveness in Charley's eyes during our whole conversation, soaking up every bit of information. The wisdom and information was being pulled out of me, in a very natural way. It felt like a challenge, with all the follow-up questions that kept on coming. Yet, my heart was growing every second, remaining peaceful the whole time. I was there, just being, and simultaneously witnessing a life full of meaning right next to me. Gratitude filled my heart for this life enriching experience.
Integrating the Divine Feminine and God Moving Through Me
One subject that we went very deep into, was God, and my point of view about this. Is there a source, where does life come from, how does energy work, and what about people staring blind at all day circumstances? It gave me a chance to share about being raised within a Christian family, false religion cult, a punishing God, and how this influenced my life’s trajectory. First through being suppressed by this, and throughout life being able to break free from it. What I now know, is that looking for joy and creativity in each moment, is God moving through me. No matter the circumstances, despite an abusive childhood, finding joy is my aim every day. All I need to do, is being present in my body, and creativity finds my way. It’s the divine feminine part of me taking the lead, while my masculine energy is there to witness and provide the space for it. Over the last six months, I’ve realized more and more that integrating my feminine aspects have been my anchor-point all along. It has helped me to stay on track on my soul’s journey. My experiences with Charley, and his passion for life, reminded me of this.
Recently, I read the book ‘Intuitive Writing: The Remedy for Writer's Block and the Secret to Authentic Communication’ by my writing coach Jacqueline Fisch. In one of the many prompts and questions that she offers, she asks “What do people always ask you?” A question I’ve been over a couple of times, without a clear answer at first. What pops up the most throughout my days, are questions like: “What are you laughing about?”; “What’s so funny?”; “Why do you always look so happy?” The answer is always the same. I’m happy because it feels natural. Even the smallest things can bring me joy. A sound, a bird, a story someone tells, the smell of a mango, you name it. The more I look for joy in life, the more it attracts me.
Whenever something pops up that’s not working, I replace it with something creative. Especially when others around me are complaining, it’s an invitation that I take with both hands. For example, with the high summer temperatures in Spain right now, it’s easy to say that ‘it’s too hot’. Anytime someone mentions this, I go for a swim, or take a cold shower. These are catalysts for the rest of my day, everything flows easily from there.
The Experience of Being Present and Letting Go of Stress
Another question that passed by a few days ago, was “What are the boring but simple things you do in your business?” For me it’s the state of being that I’m in that makes the difference. Whenever I’m present in my body, I find joy in the most boring things. The moment my mind wants to take over, the most joyful things become boring. It spoils all the fun. Throughout my life, there’s been these limits that kept bumping up, mostly linked to time. My mind trying to plan the whole day, week, or month ahead. The amount of meals during a day, and at what times, with how much hours in between. The recurring appointments, what time the bus goes, how late to go to bed, etc. Calculating everything ahead, trying to control the whole process. Nowadays, I experience time in a different way. A state of being in the present moment, connected with my body, one thing flowing over into the other. Even moments of silence and doing nothing come and go gently.
After having experiences like this, being in flow, having talks like those I had with Charley, every time I enter a scene driven by time frames, it becomes more foreign to me. I realize more than ever before the amount of stress that I’ve been through during my life. Most important observation: it’s not my stress, at all. Absorbing the stress of the outside world has had it’s impact on me, and it has lost its grip. Covid 3 years ago was a massive blessing for me regarding this, giving me the experience of being in my body. Now it’s deeper, it’s familiar, it becomes obvious what stress is mine to handle and what isn’t mine in the first place. This is the way to go, feeling in my body what energy tries to slow me down and eliminating it from my being, while strengthening my boundaries. Integrating my divine feminine energy through creativity, curiosity, exploration, and joy, it has set me free and will continue doing that. Grounding my energy with the earth every day, staying centered at all times. I feel blessed to share this with the world, to be present, and to experience this fully, inviting others into my life that are on the same path.
Key takeaways:
Being present in your body leads to flow, to creativity, to the experience of joy. Actively practicing this is easy, and you can do it with every all-day task. For example, simply start with following the movements of your arms while doing the dishes, while cooking, or cleaning up.
Getting stuck with anything is an invitation for you to get creative. It’s asking you to look what’s behind the door. These are the moments that your mind tries to come up with all kinds of solutions, to keep you in your current position. By creating an outlet and looking for joy, your mind forms new pathways in the background and comes up with solutions you’ve never thought about.
Often the world outside asks you to be in a constant state of ‘doing’. Do this, do that, imagine hearing sirens in the background, and you’ll have a clear picture. Writing down your thoughts, leaving your questions on paper, or doing a brain dump, allows you to take a break. It speeds up the processing in your mind, and a new experience of time occurs, a state of flow. Doing becomes being, while the need to control everything fades away.
No matter if you’re a man or woman, you’ve got feminine and masculine energy. Your feminine side is the purity and the rawness that wants to come out, you can feel it physically and emotionally. It’s your creative energy that wants to flow, and your expression that looks for an outlet. Your masculine side is the organizing around this, making sure your feminine energy can thrive. Take care of your body first, and your mind follows effortlessly.
As a business owner, I combine creativity and personal health. Both go hand in hand and strengthen each other simultaneously. I help you to re-awaken your creativity, natural talents and gifts, and guide you towards your highest potential. With helping you to integrate your feminine aspects into your daily activities. Whether you’re in the flow already, or having a hard time finding it, I’ll meet you where you’re at. Recognizing your uniqueness is my aim, and with joy I’m here to give you the tools to get your health, creativity and expression moving.