How to Become the Master of Your Kitchen and Your Well-being
A post about what impact food has on you, accessing your deepest feelings, slowing down actively, and how cooking for yourself brings all of this together.
About Strong and Subtle Feelings During Conversations
In Spain people speak with their heart on the tongue. When they talk, their whole body talks. There’s feeling in their intonation, passion in their voice, the words they use tell more than just an answer to a question. It’s easy to spot how they feel, you don’t have to ask for the story. It comes out even if it’s not your intention to start a conversation. Frequently used expressions are “¡Qué calor!” (It’s so hot!); “¡Qué frío!” (It;s so cold!); “¡Qué cansada!” (I’m so tired!); “¡Qué feliz!” (That’s so great!). Ending with a deep sigh, a hand gesture, a pat on the shoulder, or a broad smile, that’s how they make eye contact with you.
How different in The Netherlands, where people rather don’t give that much away. Trying to stay friendly, not to offend someone, and to keep everything ‘normal’. It’s much harder to spot how they feel, since the cues are much more subtle. Listening between the sentences is what it takes to hear the true meaning of the words. Until it all becomes too much and an explosion of emotions comes out of nowhere. Then the world’s too small, all that was ‘fine’ before now goes out of the way for frustration to come out. And there can be a whole lot of frustration underneath the surface. Leading to arguments, fights, and even violence or abuse.
In both extremes, the state of being is clear. In that sense, if it’s an uplifting vibe or a negative vibe. Details are not that important, what counts is that your environment affects you as well. While it can be tempting to change the environment, it simply doesn’t work. Changing things out of your control is impossible, before you know it, your energy is being drained. Same counts for situations that you’re dealing with yourself, that keep you stuck. That’s something you CAN change though, so lets focus on that!
Side note:
Are all Spanish people like this? No, it’s just a metaphor.
Are all Dutch people like this? No, it’s just a metaphor.
Eliminate What Needs to Go in Order to Flow
When you’re coming from a place to think only good, speak only good, and do only good, you want to be able to rely on yourself. No matter what the circumstances are, what people around you are doing, or in what place you’ve found yourself. Getting into that vibe can be done in an instant, once you know which cues to follow and which ones to eliminate. It’s something that you learn through life, since school in most cases doesn’t provide this for you. It’s instinctual, rather than logical, although you can use both to let it work for you. The instinctual makes it possible to skip lots of processes in the mind that are unnecessary. Simple over difficult.
Good can mean to confront someone, to set boundaries, to stand up for yourself, to make choices that go against the common narrative. Good can also mean to share love, gratitude, and compassion. This is different than what’s commonly told when growing up. Everything should be perfect as the way to go. It’s not only impossible, you don’t want it in the first place. Simply think about undergoing expansive growth with your journey and the need to go away from someone or somewhere. Everything perfect keeps you in a comfortable bubble, which in this case slows you down. There’s a place for comfort and a place for discomfort. Being able to experience both to the fullest is a part of life and ways to think good, speak good, and do good.
Staying on track when the environment where you’re in is trying to pull you into negativity requires practice. Negativity can mean living in survival mode, stuck in suffering, blaming others, making fun of you, depression. Or more subtle things, like white lies, people pleasing, trying to keep the peace. Even when it’s not intended, it COSTS you energy every time you interact with it. While joy, honesty, authenticity, wholeheartedness, and abundance GIVE you energy. Every time you interact with someone who’s sharing a smile you can feel that. You can choose from which place you want to live.
While there’s a place for grief, loss, anger, and tears, knowing that it’s only temporary is vital. This is not something negative, these are natural emotions that need to be expressed. Having the ability to feel this fully is also life, we’re fortunate to be able to experience life in so many ways. Expression of these emotions is very personal and a form of self-love, it has nothing to do with the other person. Creating a space for that makes it possible to let it move through you.
Choosing Between Life and Death
To come back to the Spanish example, whole foods talk to you in a similar way. It’s clear straight away when you chew on a piece of chocolate what it does with you. Taking a bowl of overnight oats, a huge salad, fruits or berries, the ingredients have an impact on your body. In the short term, there’s instant energy and nourishment, in the long term there’s a healthy body and a healthy mind. In the moment it affects your state of being, or your ‘mood’. Coming into a state of flow and staying there is a lot easier with foods that are easy to digest and absorb. The less time the digestive system needs to break down foods, the quicker the nutrients are available for the body, the gut, and the brain.
To come back to the Dutch example, refined and processed foods talk to you in a similar way. Everything seems ‘fine’ for a while, like it normally is. No big excesses, so nothing to worry about. Until disease comes to the surface and you’re knocked down for days, weeks, months, or even years. Not knowing where it came from, how this could have happened, and looking for an instant remedy. Refined and processed foods, meat/fish, dairy, and most restaurant foods are more complex to digest and absorb, it takes the body much more energy to break it down. Meaning that there’s less energy available instantly. For the brain to process impulses from the outside, for the body to feel, and for the emotions to be expressed naturally. All having a draining impact on your state of being.
There are a lot of ‘false promises’ lurking around the corner as well. You could see these as the ‘white lies’ in the food industry. Energy drinks give a short spike of energy and then it’s gone. Alcohol brings pleasure at first, yet shuts off the pineal gland from inspiration and ideas to come through effortlessly all the time. Lots of protein bars (not all!) are filled with additives to prolong preservation. Even drinking coffee wakes you up in the morning, yet has a negative effect on the liver in the long term.
The refined and processed foods, meat/fish, dairy, and false promises cost you in the long run. It’s connected to DEATH. Dead calories that can’t be used by the human body, the body needing more energy to digest and break down the foods than the energy it gets out of it, and downfall of energy after consumption. While whole foods are connected to LIFE. Bringing the organs in motion, the body coming into a state of flow, with minimal energy needed to process. Vital life force comes in return, opening of the pineal gland, the central nervous system gets activated, and there’s communication between the gut and the brain.
Cooking for Yourself and What it Brings You
The practice of cooking puts a huge part of your well-being in your own hands. Narrowing down your focus becomes very easy when you start with the intention of thinking good, speaking good, and doing good. It’s clear that anything that’s draining you needs to be eliminated, starting with what’s within your control. Rather than looking outside of you, look at what’s on your plate. Does it cost your body more energy to process, or does it bring instant energy? Can you eat loads of it WITH shame and guilt or WITHOUT shame and guilt? Even the things that ‘are not that bad’, dare to label it as it is, coming from a neutral position. Replace them with something you don’t need an excuse for. The food you consume speaks volumes, get the most out of it by taking charge of your food habits!
The practice of cooking deepens your ability to feel. Like with biting on a piece of chocolate, you get physical sensations. During the cooking process, all sorts of things happen. Smells, textures, flavors, sounds, they all have an impact on your body. Most of them very subtle, it requires some patience to notice your senses on a deeper level. Moving the whole body while cooking, and feeling or sensing as well, gets you out of your thinking mind. Instead of the need to ‘focus’ actively on something, you’re doing something that ‘requires focus’. Think about it for a minute, doesn’t seem to be that big at first, until you see the difference. Every bit of information that you don’t have to process cognitively increases your ability to feel, to experience life!
The practice of cooking helps you to slow down. Not slowing down by sitting on a bench and watching TV or scrolling on a phone. Not slowing down by going on a retreat for a month. Slowing down your movements, slowing down your thoughts, slowing down you speech. As a warm-up to get into observation mode. To come into a state of creative flow. To switch from linear time focused work, like the conscious mind does, to timelessness.
Got a rushing mind? Slow down.
A whole list of things to do? Slow down.
A hurricane of emotions bubbling up? Slow down.
Taking the Effects With You in Other Areas of Life
Now the creativity part. In general, there are two ways to handle a situation: 1) focusing on what you can’t control, and 2) focusing on what you can control. You can control your own state of being, by allowing yourself to FEEL, by SLOWING DOWN, so that your body can PROCESS. So that you can control your thoughts and emotions as well. Observe instead of engage, be patient with yourself. Rather than using force to do something about things you can’t control, you’re able to focus on what you’ve got available. Coming from a neutral position and finding a creative solution.
You want to be able to use your time, energy, and attention to get the best out of yourself. With cooking, once you’ve narrowed down your focus to whole foods only, this becomes a lot more easy. It requires you to think for yourself, to make your own dishes, and to get creative. The start can be a challenge, introducing more whole foods to your plates is the way to go. Take these times to play, try out new combinations and ingredients you haven’t tried before. You’ll notice that you’re much more capable of creating food that’s healthy, nutritious, simple, and with lots of flavor. Since most pure flavors are so clear and outspoken, the chances of failure are very low. An easy way to boost your confidence!
What you do in your kitchen, you take with you in other areas of your life. Narrowing down who and what you allow into your life. Choosing only what lifts you up, while eliminating what drains you. The ability to feel on a deeper level, having this with you during exercise, work, and with relationships. Slowing down when you become restless, when there’s pressure from the outside world, when emotions need to come out naturally. Taking your own well-being in your own hands, and saying ‘NO’ to anything and anyone who wants a piece of that. You’re in charge now of your state of being, no room for others to take that away from you.
Choosing Good Thoughts, Words, and Actions Only
Over time, joy, inner peace and calmness, curiosity, gratitude, and confidence become your default state. Just like it was during early childhood, the same traits are back again. The difference with low vibes becomes so clear, that it’s easy to spot. Instead of thinking about it, why it happens, where it comes from, or what to do with it, you know where it comes from. Even the more subtle cues are visible. These are instinctual, surpassing any cognitive thinking process. They come up long before something takes place, giving you the ability to take actions proactively. Over time, you no longer come into situations you no longer desire. What’s left over is living from a place of abundance.
I grew up with the Dutch method, feelings stuffed deep underneath the surface. Now I’m living the Spanish method (the fruitful version), feelings that are very clear instantly. In between I’ve practiced mastering my state of being, since my teenage years. At the start, it was a huge challenge, with so much negativity around me. It’s quite a job to stay joyful when most people around you are depressed, frustrated, or bitter. I managed to find my way through, by staying curious, slowing down in many ways, and bringing things back to neutral. Thinking good, speaking good, and doing good always won in the long run. Replacing unhealthy thoughts, words, and actions with healthy ones, step by step. Starting with food, the rest of my life followed accordingly.
Key takeaways:
Feeling goes beyond thoughts, being able to feel elevates your state of being. Deepening your ability to feel helps you to be more present in the moment, to spot something upfront, and to act proactively.
Whole foods give life force energy. You feel it instantly when you eat a piece of fruit, a raw salad, or a bowl of healthy whole grains. Not only in the short term, it also stays with you for a prolonged period of time.
Cooking is one of the easiest ways to alter your state of being. Coming in flow while cooking by slowing down, creative expression with the unique food combinations your create, and feeling the effects of what you smell, taste, hear, and touch within your body.
When you intend to think, speak, and do good only, there’s no room for ‘it’s not that bad’. No one is gonna punish you, that’s right. But remember you’re living your life for yourself, not for others. Choose what lifts you up to do yourself and favor and give yourself all the joy, inner peace, and abundance that you deserve.
Instinctual cues are very subtle and hard to decipher. Especially when there’s lots of ‘noise’, negativity, and distractions around you. The brain doesn’t see a difference between something small or a big shock. Cut out the noise by going all the way, free up the space between your mind and deepest instincts, starting with healthy food habits.
Slowing down actively puts your conscious mind in observation mode. There are thoughts, feelings, and emotions, but no urgent need to act upon them (unless it’s an emergency off course!). Without interference through reactive behavior, flow appears naturally. It’s like getting a dam out of the way to let the river flow freely.
Mastering your well-being starts in your kitchen and on your plate. Start taking charge of how you want your life to FEEL like. Begin today!
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