Lessons From Coaching Football to Local Kids & Teenagers
An article about how kids learn and what we can learn from them. With football as a container, spotting the patterns and connections that stand out.
This article was originally posted on my website’s blog.
The human body is designed to move – if you realize all the systems and elements that work during a single movement, it would leave you in awe. Muscles, tissues, organs, nerves, fluids, and neurons all work together to move from A to B. These mechanics can be broken down to the smallest details to explore them further. Yet when you put the single elements back together, it’s nothing like seeing someone walk, run, jump, or dance. Sports like football represent this in high-speed motion. Here’s what I’ve learned as a Youth Football Coach since 2004, coaching all age groups from age 4 to 21, from beginner’s level up until professional.
In this case study, I dive into working with local kids and giving football practices to multiple age groups, highly varying skill levels, and backgrounds from various countries. These are observations by spotting patterns and recurring characteristics. Also, by taking the feedback of kids, their parents, and fellow coaches to heart. Not so much with the need to do something with it immediately. More to have a new viewpoint available to create a holistic overview and to increase the quality of training sessions, personal attention, and guidance of the whole group. With that, maximizing the joy and experience for everyone involved, while minimizing the effort that’s needed to get to that point.
Note that the football-specific coaching capabilities, as well as observation, spotting patterns, making connections between seemingly random aspects, taking in feedback to create a holistic overview, and individual and group guidance of kids and teenagers have developed for me since the early 2000s. This case study is a culmination of all that, providing an overview of important elements. Keep in mind that there are layers and layers of depth that come into play with activities and practices like this.
Self-Directed Learners with High Auto-Didactic Talents
Football practice is halfway through today, with dribbling and passing exercises already finished. Time went quickly, with lots of concentration and so many repetitions in a short period. No space for distraction, which continues to be the case when we switch to small games. On half the pitch, there’s 3v3 or 4v4. Kids of similar age, height, or skill join together to play a match. Some players draw attention to themselves by being involved and getting the ball more than others. It seems that there’s little to no thinking involved for them; their game flows. What stands out the most, though, is showing skills that they didn’t have last practice. Bringing up the question – what happened in between?
One day later, during the afternoon, while walking through town, the same kids (the ones who stood out) are playing football. On the street, freely and without clear rules. Either with one ball as in a game, or each kid with his own ball. In the last case, they show each other moves and tricks, trying to mimic each other. In the first case, applying what they’ve just practiced in a game situation. This flows back and forth until it’s time to take a break or go home. Only watching a few minutes tells the whole story. The ones who are the most observant make the biggest progress in the shortest time. Seemingly being uninvolved, while at the same time attentive to the smallest details. No explanations are needed; off they go to explore and experiment with what works best for them. Creating new moves and variations themselves, fully absorbed in their process. It’s like they follow the movements of their body, instead of copying someone else.
During the small matches, individual differences become very clear straight away. All of the kids are committed in their own way; it’s their limitations that form the greatest blocks. The moment that these are challenged the most, hiding is no longer possible. On both ends of the spectrum, there’s boredom or overwhelm. In a way, it’s kind of rough, finding out about this yourself. For a while, everything seems to be okay until you outgrow the environment you’re in, or when you’re placed in a group that’s more advanced than you. These are the most vulnerable points of development and crucial to taking the next steps. A mini-shock comes first, before the ability to withstand the shock and grow from there. Moving from one plateau to the next. Included are the whole range of emotions that come along with realizing that you’re no longer who you thought you were before. Welcome to growing up!
Children are self-directed learners by nature. They need a little push in the right direction to get going. Instead of doing what you say, kids do what you do, in their unique way. Giving an example speaks more than a thousand words. Whether the example comes from a coach or another player doesn’t matter. As long as they see them as an authority (someone who knows what they’re doing), they’re eager to follow the lead. The presence is doing the talking. Trying out what they see and picking out what works best for them (which varies between each individual). Feeling discouraged after finding out that: 1) falling short with older or more advanced players leads to getting into overdrive; 2) being far ahead of younger or less advanced players leads to feeling bored. The emotions that follow are natural and need to be expressed. Once it’s out, they’re back on track.
Having a Strong Natural Drive From Within
In the last weeks, a few new kids have joined the weekly sessions. It started a bit slow, with so many new impressions to pay attention to. Trying to position yourself in an environment you haven’t been in before takes time. Staying a bit more in the background to see how everything works seems the way to go. Personal attention helps, in the form of explanation, pausing, and showing examples. Doing the same actions over and over again, including all the mistakes that come along. At first, it seems awkward, luckily, the other players are making mistakes too. Each time they get from A to B, it looks like it gets easier. Not much has changed, though; it’s the familiarity of the exercises and environment that helps to get more relaxed.
After a couple of weeks, the progress is visible. Smoothly going from one station to the next, a lot more relaxation overall, and involvement during games. As if they are reborn already, the developments go fast. The way this comes through the most is by feeling. When a child begins something new, there’s tension. Everything is unfamiliar, a high chance of mistakes, and no time for the mind to catch up. Way too many impulses to deal with. Now that’s gone, there are fewer words needed to explain an exercise. Motivation is visible with a higher success rate. Showing up for a practice adds to the inner drive, which gets stronger over time. What might have been a fear before now becomes a fuel. Mistakes add to the inner drive as well, even when other kids are critical.
Most of the time, it’s easy to conclude what potential a player has based on first impressions. Natural talents will make it, and players with mobility issues eventually will fall behind. Every practice, there’s a new first impression, though. Looking at someone as if you meet him or her for the first time (even if you have known each other for years) takes away the labels. Coming from a blank canvas, curious about what they’ve got to bring, it helps you to judge based on the facts. Simultaneously, the pressure from the outside changes; there are 90 minutes to get the best out of yourself. Whether you’re full of energy today or you’ve given your best already. Showing up and committing to yourself is what counts. All the tiny actions and changes during one practice don’t seem that much of a deal until you look back after a few months, and you’ll be surprised at what you see. Personal commitments like this count double, helping you go beyond your natural capabilities, whether you’re talented or not.
Being Sensitive to the Environment
Looking from a distance throughout practice, a couple of patterns are visible. Especially with having kids from multiple countries together. Players who are drawn toward each other form little subgroups, and they talk a lot in their language. Cultural traits that come out, like being very outspoken or more reserved. When discomfort comes up, either expressing this verbally or withdrawing from the group, or expressing this physically. As well as players who go their own way and are less interested in the group dynamics. What everyone has in common is looking for their edges and testing them out within the group.
It can get stressful now and then. When emotions heat up, during a tight game, and when the differences are too big (between teams, ages, or skill levels). The weather plays a significant role; the hotter it gets, the faster stress and emotions come to the surface. Makes sense with the same organs managing body temperature as well as stress. Going into discussion, correcting, and sharpening the rules only has a temporary effect. It reinforces what’s happening, rather than stopping it. Instead of doing that, taking a water break often does the trick. Setting the tone before practice is important, a short reminder of why we are here, and that you’re here for yourself first. Pointing back to that during breaks and stressful moments takes the pressure off.
What’s more subtle is how someone feels underneath their skin. On the outside, a child can look confident, while he or she walks around feeling a lot of pressure. Or shy and withdrawn, while feeling calm and happy. A couple of examples to pick out. Some very outspoken kids turn out to be nervous easily. The more nervous they are, the more they talk. It’s to express the excessive stress, to get rid of it. Telling them it’s okay to take a break when needed, drink some water, and ask for help grows their confidence levels. Others who are told to be shy turn out to be very alert. With more activated senses, they’re able to feel things on a deeper level. Feeling the energy behind the words and actions of others, taking a bit of distance first to feel their way into the situation. Making sure that they get the space for this and giving them more time helps them to build trust.
Searching Reliable Reference Points Outside of Yourself
Kids come to football practice for various reasons – for fun, to connect with other kids, for self-exploration out of curiosity, and to go beyond their limits. Football is what brings them together, for sure, when there’s a match included. Most coaches go in either of two directions: 1) the competitive aspect, winning the match as the most important objective, or 2) having fun as the main objective. While both strike a chord, going for one of either extreme leaves out vital aspects. As mentioned, the intention to join football varies heavily between kids. While winning is the objective of the game, losing matches are included. And matches can be both fun and not, whether you win or lose. The main traits of the game, as well as personal development, make a difference. If you don’t understand how the game works, you get lost. When your development gets behind, the gap between you and others becomes too big, and you’ll lose interest.
Local football practice for boys and girls from age 6 to 14. A highly variable group, with a different composition of ages, abilities, and physical, mental, or emotional attributes in each practice. It’s what comes closest to kids in the neighborhood playing on the street. With coaches guiding the process and creating a safe space to play. This is completely different from a club environment, where there’s a separation between age groups, despite individual characteristics. In a club environment, children play in the same age groups, no matter their development on a physical, mental, or emotional level. With local initiatives, various ages join together in a single session. What happens in both situations is that kids have their learning curve. Individual attention within a group setting is important. Recognizing their unique talents and learning process, and making them aware of this. Getting the pressure from the environment off their shoulders.
The outside functions as a mirror for what happens on the inside. There are so many things to refer to, as a way of indicating if you’re on the right track. Understanding of the game, speed of play, and being able to keep up, ball handling skills, interactions and dynamics with other kids, and social expression, to name a couple. All of these form cues and advice to follow. For a child, this is a whole discovery tour that can lead to discouragement, as shared before. Simply because it varies all the time, what brought success and confirmation one time can leave you stranded another time. Luckily, there are traits within that are always available and accessible. Joy, confidence, trust, and calmness. Cultivating those aspects builds a reliable and sustainable muscle that delivers all the time. Having this as a central element in a coaching practice makes a world of difference.
Patience In a Completely New Context
Working with two groups during practice, to keep the quality as high as possible for all participants. Sometimes, looking at specific skills is important within an exercise. But mostly based on age and cognitive abilities. The youngest group shows a couple of interesting characteristics. A short attention span, emotionally driven and frequently impulsive, wanting to move all the time, and a not fully developed ability to listen and understand verbal comments and explanations. They show all the natural traits of a child growing up and what it means to live in a human body. A body that is designed to move. Children express this so freely, especially when there’s play involved. Overflowing movements that keep changing over and over, depending on the goal at the moment.
What this looks like during exercises is kids doing everything but the exercise itself. That is when they’re in a group. One-on-one, they might have a challenge with executing the exercise, but they will try their best. The ball rolls off their feet, missing corners and obstacles, bumping into each other, using every part of the foot to move the ball forward. From the outside, it looks chaotic and all over the place, making it hard to follow as an adult. Giving the temptation to control the process, to set up rules, and to let everyone walk in line. Trust me, from all the hundreds of coaches I’ve witnessed throughout the years, the ones who do this the most also struggle the hardest. Looking from a neutral perspective, without judgment, it’s clear that what the kids do is a phase they need to go through to advance to the next. It’s a matter of maturation, which takes place in cycles. While the coach tends to go crazy, the kids are developing eye-foot coordination, working on their vestibular system, spatial awareness, and mobility.
At first, everything is new and unknown. This can be very scary or very exciting. In both cases, it leads to over-excessive behavior and crossing all the lines in any possible way. Boundaries don’t exist yet, so there are no limits. After having some familiarity, there’s a new level of discomfort. That of discipline and repeating the same thing over and over. Not sure yet if they’re up for the challenge, it’s still a bit new after all. Either leading to stress and a need for protection and instructions, or resilience after making multiple mistakes. Halfway there’s a tipping point that needs to be crossed. Leading to self-confidence and self-trust in themselves and their capabilities. Encouragement is what children ask for, to take away the last doubts and worries, or to affirm what they already know that they can do. To meet them at the other end of the tipping point. Finally, it’s the closing off of a cycle, where skills and behavior become automatic. Possibly getting discouraged because no longer challenged by the other kids around them. Or excited to proceed to a new skill level or group.
Having good intentions is important in general, with coaching kids and teenagers, that’s no different. However, even with the best intentions, it’s possible to get off track. Pushing someone beyond their limits and using force to get there is never a good thing. It requires a bit more than good intentions alone to help them on their journey. With all the natural maturation cycles, self-directed learning, inner drive and motivation, the feelings underneath the skin, and cultivating personal traits that are reliable and sustainable all the time, it shapes a whole new context. No longer is the single practice, the season, or even the journey throughout childhood the main point of attention. Rather, it’s the awareness of where a child is now, in this moment, and how this relates to the whole picture of a single practice, a season, and a journey of growing up. This underlines what patience is: the ability to step aside as a coach (or teacher, parent, or caretaker) and only do what’s needed in this moment. Sometimes that’s giving instructions, sometimes it’s listening, explaining, giving examples, correcting, or setting boundaries. At moments, it’s getting out of the way and simply witnessing. Being able to switch between these roles helps to guide kids on their journey. Whether in a group or individually, no matter the circumstances.
Paying Attention to the Details Makes the Difference
The simplest exercises can give instant feedback. One example is dribbling in a straight line toward the goal and scoring. It sounds easy, but the body needs to adjust before shooting, during shooting, and after shooting. A great way to let kids discover how their body works and their individual technique. They try everything to kick the ball in the net. Using different parts of the foot (inside, outside, or toes), adjusting the swing of the shooting leg (more backward or forward), and the way they apply power to the ball (with technique or force). While they do this, the body adjusts. Bending forward or backward, rotating inward or outward, and speeding up or slowing down. So many options to ask questions!
It’s tempting to interrupt and change what they do. A good reminder that kids do what you do and not what you say. The chances that they pick up on instructions are low; giving an example works better. More importantly, individuation now comes into play. The trick is to give a few options (preferably two) and let the players try both. Starting with adjusting the body positioning. The distance between the standing leg and the shooting leg, having the ball beside the body or in front, and a straight or diagonal angle towards the goal. Nothing has changed with the technique yet, but the results speak for themselves. More ease and less force, higher accuracy, and a stronger body posture.
What makes the biggest difference is helping kids recognize their bodies. How it moves naturally and unnaturally, what costs more or less energy, and brings more ease and less tension. For each player, this is different, letting them experiment and choose automatically leads to their preferences. Actions and results speak for themselves; there’s no interruption needed. Simply asking them what they notice and what they want more of does the trick. The explanations and instructions left over are very specific to the individual; that’s where the fun happens. At the same time, the energy that comes free through emotions is used within the play. It now brings energy to express emotion, rather than being awkward. Over time, these puzzle pieces fall into place, and everything works in the same direction. Patience, pausing, taking a step back, looking at the body first, and letting kids explore for themselves eventually all pay off.
Love how different age kids practice together. I lived in a rural area and never had pick up games with other kids. Everything I did in between games was mostly on my own. Playing soccer with my dog, usually with a tennis ball, or just passing & shooting at a wall. Sometimes i played 1v1 with my little sister. But I was always guest playing on other teams too, any chance I had to play I would take it. I wasn't the best at practice, but shined in games because I didn't have time to think about anything, I was just in flow, no brain involved when I got the ball. ONly when I didn't have the ball I was looking around to see what possibilities were going to be available to pass or dribble, or to move to create space or receive the ball.
You sound like such an amazing coach Wilco!!! Love reading your insight about the different types of kids.