How to Break the Rules and Live from Your Own Standards
From living inside a ‘box’ to thinking outside of ‘the box’. Limitations come in many ways, both are one of them. Being limitlessly creative is something entirely else. Be awesome all the time!
I remember it like it’s happening right now, the gymnastics classes at school. These were my favorites, especially when there was play or a challenge involved. Not knowing what my capabilities were at that time, going beyond limit after limit. Although I didn’t see myself as a talent, I knew that athletics came easy for me. Lots of sports that I tried out, either on the street or during the classes at school, and little that didn’t work out for me. Participating in a group like a school class came together with a norm or a standard. Simply for the teacher to keep everyone’s capabilities and shortcomings into account and to give each student a chance to participate.
It was the last year at pre-school, a few months before me and my family moved to another town, with that to another school. Gymnastics was competitive, in the sense that most kids had the joy to play and go to the fullest. During one class, we did long jumps, by taking a run-up and then jumping on a mat. The teacher had placed an extra mat behind the first one, for safety and to break the fall. All the kids went and jumped on the mat, that was the objective. The distance was about 2,5 meters and the kids made it one after one. Being one of the last, I went for it and went to the maximum. Instantly after taking off, while floating in mid-air, I realized that there weren’t enough mats to catch me. I jumped beyond 4 meters, tried to land while using my hands, and bruised my wrist with the landing.
What all the kids did: taking the objective as literal and doing what the teacher told. There’s a run-up, two mats after each other, a jump, and a landing. The ways of execution were very different, but all from the same framework. Inside the box.
What I did: take all the elements separately, the run-up, the mats, the jump, and the landing. And getting the most out of it in that moment. Just by being curious, without a motivation or something behind it. Breaking the framework apart and setting a new norm, naturally. No box.
Three years later, I had similar experiences at middle school, also with long jumps. A higher and much longer mat this time. The objective was to jump on the mat, as far as you could. The challenge became to jump over the mat, which worked with each attempt. Luckily, this time 2 other kids were doing the same. Not only with jumping, also with sprints, ball sports, and strength activities. Nothing special, just getting the most out of yourself. Because you can.
Telling myself throughout the years that there wasn’t one thing that I stood out in, but had lots of things that I was average in. That was reasoning from inside a box. Now I know that there are lots of things that I stand out in. By recognizing what I do best, and learning new stuff instantly, without a box. Let’s look a bit further at what this whole ‘box’ concept is about.
Photo: jump like a champion, you never know how far you’ll get
Thinking Outside of the Box as a Concept
Out-of-the-box thinking is a concept I came across years ago while exploring new resources online. Trying it out a lot of times and in various ways. At work, looking for new ways to approach a situation or a process. Working with the current systems and protocols, noticing what’s working, and creating something better. Re-organizing and putting things in place, building a foundation that works all by itself. Less energy is needed and more output in a better way. Tiny tweaks daily helped me to transform entire company structures and cultures from the ground up. And without direct involvement of a direction board or management. As a staff member, at every company or team that I worked for and with. Just doing what comes naturally.
There’s one thing that didn’t click though, the box. Reading through blogs, listening to lectures, following teachings of people talking about ‘out of the box’. Applying this in real-life situations, and relating this to what I was working on was a challenge. What box are they talking about? Using a concept like this at the start multiple times and then letting it go, I’ve done it a lot. Eventually, the fun was gone and I stopped doing it. Picking out only the aspects that were working for me. Breaking down a framework or system, all the way to the single elements. Playing, combining, forming new combinations with those elements, and seeing what comes out.
Photo: like you’re gonna fit a cat into a box, right?! The same counts for you, no box matches your brilliance and beauty.
What ‘the Box’ Looks Like Within a Company
An example would be working as a service and maintenance coordinator, together with a team of technicians, a sales manager, and a project manager. Having our department in a bigger company, with technical & manufacturing departments, a directors board & management team, finance, and export sales team. Being in the middle of all these teams and people, including the suppliers, distributors, and clients. Having an overview of the whole process in general, what elements are present, who’s working on what, and the time frames at play. On a client level, the roles of the contacts, what they need, and when to contact them. Facilitating streams of information all the time, hopping from one task to the next.
The main narrative within the company was to follow the protocols for each specific process, to take on your shoulders as much as you can, and to respect the roles of others. That was in theory. In reality, the main narrative was to look at everyone’s shortcomings, to gossip and complain about it, and to take over tasks from others because they didn’t do a good job. While at the same feeling rejected, not recognized, not valued, and misunderstood. I tried to find my way through it and concluded that it was impossible. It’s quite a challenge to work with things that aren’t real but rather made up out of unprocessed emotions and stress.
Following my own path was the way to go. With so many distractions and negative vibes the biggest job was to stay on track. I learned to say ‘no’ without explaining myself, to straighten my back, to only respond to what is adding value, and to stay out of arguments at all cost. Noticing patterns and making connections between seemingly random aspects is one of my specialties. In this case, listening to and observing managers and director, technicians, sales and projects team, and clients, I noticed that they were talking about the same things.
When our systems at clients worked as they should, we would hear nothing
When the systems at the clients weren’t working, this meant total catastrophe
The amount of time that our systems were live, was over 98%, so minimal downtime
The systems were relatively simple, reliable, and designed to do their job
Technicians, developers, and manufacturing staff were craftsmen, almost artists at what they did
When staff was fully available and motivated to work, we would hear nothing
When someone called in sick or was unmotivated to work, this meant total catastrophe
With such clear indications, it was simple to follow the movie script playing out. Only at times that something went wrong, do rumors start to boil up, developing into an overload of pressure, stress, and eventually gossip and complaining. At times everything went well, it would be quiet. Like seasons in nature, during the year there were high seasons and low seasons, at the same periods each year. You could just predict when a thunderstorm or earthquake would hit the office. Like a volcano boiling up and preparing itself for eruption, so was the overall atmosphere at the office. As with illness, most of the time it’s ‘not that bad’, until shit hits the fan. The woman who had my job before me, couldn’t proceed because of burnout, it says enough.
Photo: this is what people around you look like who try to ‘walk in line’. They only see you when you take a different route. So start with that.
Breaking Down ‘the Box’ and Building From Scratch
After three years of doing my job, I found myself inside a box. The box that the company had created for itself, was limited by the pressure from outside (systems downtime and clients panicking) and inside their minds (rejection, misunderstood, undervalued, unrecognized, etc.). Living in the present moment doesn’t function with a box. Each moment is new, yesterday belongs to the past already, and tomorrow isn’t here yet. Yesterday’s failure says nothing about that this would happen again today. Now brings the opportunity to get the most out of what you’ve got, there’s only now. Putting this into words I tried in numerous ways, but it’s like asking a deaf man if he can hear you.
The company’s narrative didn’t work, it was set up for failure. All the attention was directed to clients with system downtime, to colleagues with health issues and motivation problems, and other negative shit. Not my world. Being busy with taking on so many responsibilities, I wondered why no one noticed this. My conclusion was because I didn’t tell them. That’s what I started doing and showing that I was in charge. I already was, I just wasn’t clear about it. Time to change the narrative.
Starting with the technicians, I gave them ownership over the systems they were maintaining. I shared it with the specific clients in their area and with the project and sales manager. When someone wasn’t available, there were 2 back-ups for each technician and client. I gave back responsibilities that weren’t mine, redirecting pressure to the ones responsible, and confronting them when they complained about all the ‘extra stuff’ they were doing. Follow my example (or burn yourself out ...)! Instead of the director coming to me asking how it was going, I went to him, telling him the accomplishments of my team of the day, week, and month.
Followed by creating boundaries around the team. When there’s an issue, go to the person responsible and be clear about it. Only come to me to share the story afterward and how you both talked it out. When someone calls for you, you handle the phone call, not me or someone else. Outdated systems went out of the window and new systems came in that were growth-oriented. The way I did this was by being steadfast and repeating the same messages over and over. Either one of two things happened: 1) people started to follow along, or 2) people left the company (forced or voluntarily).
On a client level, we were especially working with hospitals. Visiting clients, meeting the people I had on the phone, and increasing the number of people within a hospital were priorities. Knowing who to talk to, which team member to link to which person, and only talking to those who were calling the shots (depending on what process or stage we were working on). Continuously keeping the director’s board and management team up-to-date, by introducing walking meetings and demanding more interaction. Change happens fast when you are determined and confident about good outcomes.
Photo: show that you’re the one in charge of your life. You already are, you just need to be clear about it. Show up for yourself like a lion.
A New Story Line Based on Healthy Standards
Eventually, the team setting changed. The sales manager took a run, he couldn’t handle the new standards. The project manager retired early, same story. Former technicians who were street-wise came into the office, to form a bridge between technicians and indoor staff. A new sales manager came in with proactive skills, onboarded by me with a renewed vision. The director was replaced by his son, with a much more interactive and modern approach. Most importantly, the focus was aimed at what was important: standing out in what you do best. Without the need to explain this, it’s self-explanatory.
In other words, forming a storyline that underlines the quality of the products, the minimal downtime, and the impact that it has on a client. Using the pressure points to level up the commitment on the client’s side, stating that maintenance was a key component in such a crucial system (especially for hospitals). Increasing maintenance contracts, including proactively replacing system components. Setting higher prices for the maintenance, by adding more value. Connecting technicians on our side with technicians on the client’s side. Making agreements on paper with their management teams that technicians themselves could agree on low-cost service and replacement, without a third person or department in between. With that, lowering the response time and downtime even more.
Within a few weeks, the pressure was lowered significantly between staff members. Their brains only had to process the stuff they were responsible for, giving them the ability to get the most out of their capacities. For a few months in a row, no one called in sick. Only once covid started, it picked up again. People took more days off, spontaneously, to give themselves a break. Meetings became more focused on how to transfer this atmosphere to the whole company. From being the smallest department, and feeling like not being a part of the company, it changed completely to being an example for everyone.
Photo: healthy standards are crystal clear, based on what’s real, work with what’s real, and ditch all the negative bullshit.
Creating from Zero Ground is Where the Magic Happens
When someone comes to me with a problem, I pause. Pausing through listening, observing, asking questions, feeling, and sensing what’s not being said. Coming from a neutral place, judging only the facts, whether the person tells me them or they are visible otherwise. Before, I used to follow the story line, as a form of emphasizing. I learned though, that this is a dead-end street. My aim now is to return to zero ground as soon as possible, by detaching and taking away the identification part. At zero ground, everything is stable and just as it is. From there you can decide what you want to do with all the elements you’ve got available.
This is where creativity comes in. This used to be just a word for me, but now I know that it’s a state of being that you can enter instantly. The difference is that the conscious brain is passive (the listening, observing, asking questions, feeling, and sensing parts). There are still thoughts, yet there are no engagements. What’s included, is the awareness that there will be emotions, sensations, mistakes, failures, comments, tension, and outside pressure. All of this is what comes and goes, yet only has an impact if you allow it. Being totally transparent and letting it move through you leaves you untouched. Instead, you’re able to transmute that what comes into a stronger version. The only thing that’s needed to put this in motion, is curiosity.
I love working with kids and teenagers. They have the ability to surprise themselves over and over again. As long as they get the space for it. Trying out, playing, experimenting, and discovering stuff that they haven’t done before. Whenever they play a game, the way that they play is slightly different. Besides that, they are self-directed, meaning that they learn the most in between classes or practices. These moments in between are not where they sit still, this is where the magic happens. The classes or practices or the times to absorb new information, in between is playtime.
Here’s the link to creativity as a state of being, the place where change happens in no time. During play, there’s no awareness of time. All the elements available in the moment come together as one. What kids do, is only take those elements that are useful. For example, when there’s an area to run, then that forms the playground. Other things, like surrounding houses, are not important and simply create the background, the acoustics, and a picture. Kids don’t have the cognitive ability yet to put everything into words and ponder about it. Their brain wave activity is much lower than grown-ups working in an office.
All that good stuff is still there and available to you. For me, this is still my default state. It has been this way and comes with me wherever I go. The moment uncertainty hits, a goldmine opens up in front of me. So many opportunities to choose from, and so many elements to play with, in such a variety of ways. I know (both consciously and subconsciously) that all my experiences throughout my life are inside me. Answers that I need in the moment randomly pop up when I need them. There’s no worry, no stress, no overly dramatic scenery. Instead, there’s joy, gratitude, lots of fun, awe, and wonder. Even when I get shocked at first when I reach my lowest point.
Photo: every moment is like a blank canvas, color it in the way YOU like
What You Can Do for Yourself
There are lots of takeaways that I could mention related to this post. I’d like to keep it to only one this time though:
STOP THINKING OUT OF THE BOX!
THERE IS NO BOX!
GO OUT AND PLAY!
BASED ON YOUR OWN RULES!
Circumstances change, seasons change, places change, people change, and you change. Rules change with that as well. They are formed in the moment, not as some kind of fixed combination. That’s just disrespectful to all the awesomeness that you’ve got to offer to yourself and the world. Take a step back, see each moment as a new opportunity to create from scratch. It might seem like a giant mountain to climb. Just reminder though, that you used to do 24/7 as a child. And all of that is still with you.
Okay, now go. And share your success stories below in the comments. Or share a link to one of your writings, I’d love to read about what you stand out with, lets make it visible!
Check out my presentation about Food and Creativity. I share a couple of angles to play with coming from a state of creativity. Enjoy!